relationships in the rebellion.

Life is beautiful. It's amazing what spring can do to remind you of the great parts of life that never leave us.

It's lovely outside. And I am surrounded by lovely people. Just like last year, my last couple weeks I have managed to connect with new friends that I am so sorry I will be leaving. But I am once again thriving in that knowledge. I feel that short relationships have many advantages. There is no time to experience the drama that comes with being friends for years, and you learn to enjoy each other's company for what it is, not what it could be in the future. There is no room to try and change people. Also, I feel I have to be the best I can be for those people because they won't be near me very long. Still, I will miss them and hope to see them in the future.

Now, my dear friends with whom I have been close to for a while. Do not fret, you are a treasure to me as well. Lately, I have been reforging ties with my old friends from my younger years. And those relationships are so amazingly rich because I can look back and see how both we and our relationships have grown and changed. I am reminded of how we are constantly growing as people, and those friendships that survive regardless are the ones that will last forever. In this time, I seek to devote myself to the development of those relationships. Also, I hope to find new people with whom I can become old friends.

It is rather sad for me to say this, but breaking up with my boyfriend was one of the best decisions I have ever made. That hurts for me to say, because I still consider him the most amazing man I have ever met. Kind, respectful, and level-headed. But right now, I need to be crazy and form bonds with people that being in a relationship prevents. Not just with boys, mind you. I am not the teenager I once was. I want to spend time with all my people and not be tied to one, having to spend a majority of my time with him.

I desire to grow closer to God in all this as well. So much of this period of self-discovery depends on the identity I find in Christ. Of anything I am experiencing right now, this area is the one where I feel most torn. Where do I draw the line between having experiences and maintaining my witness? But I am reminded of the way God uses our decisions for His good, regardless. So I have no choice but to do the best I can, being cautious, but mindful of the forgiveness He offers us.